Charles Austin points out the main reason why I have no interest in ever seeing M. Night Shyamalan’s newest movie, The Happening: the extremely irritating emphasis in its adverts on the fact that it’s his “first R-rated movie OMG!” My response to this is, “So?” Since I can’t see what’s so scary about the actual movie itself, at least based on the trailers, I can only assume that its R-rating is, as Charles says, just a marketing ploy, and that in order to get it they probably just added a couple of extra blood-bags and maybe a shot of some girl’s tits to the final release.
Update: okay, having read the reviews, apparently they blood-bags are the ratings-getter. Oh yeah, and the cause? Can you say Revenge of the Killer Weeds? I knew you could. Oh I’m sorry, did I spoil it? My bad. Consider it my little service to those who might otherwise have been compelled to spend their hard-earned dough in the theaters on this. You should instead maybe go see the latest Hulk movie, which I don’t have to spoil, because everyone knows the plots of all Hulk stories: Hulk smash! Hulk — I mean Banner — kiss pretty girl! Hulk fight and smash some more! Hulk win! Banner runs away to smash another day… This past week the Scifi channel had the old Hulk series on, and I tried to watch it, even though it had never been my particular favorite (I never really liked superhero comics anyway), but I just couldn’t, even though one of the episodes had a young, pre-Sherlock-Holmes Jeremy Brett as the villain. 1970s tv was so cheesy.
14 Responses to “Not Happening”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
June 15th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
I too was struck by the “R rated!” ploy and wondered why that meant it was so much better than his other films. Now that I find there are no tits in it, forget it.
At least the sequel to Killer Tomatoes had tits. Plus John Astin.
June 16th, 2008 at 8:04 am
In Australian English, “clever” often has pejorative overtones as in these Macquarie Dictionary meanings for the word:
4. superficially smart or bright; facile.
5. sly; cunning.
Another one is:
clever dick
/’klevuh dik/
noun Colloquial; a conceited, smug person, who displays prowess at the expense of others.
June 16th, 2008 at 8:15 am
My comment was meant for the “Grammar bitch” thread.
I pressed the tab key to indent “4.” and the whole thing vanished.
Apparently tab keys have different powers here.
Anyway, I’ll copy and paste it in the other thread where it may makemore sense.
June 16th, 2008 at 11:18 am
Actually, Skeeter, I like it – in this context it’s obscure enough to seem pertinent.
I’ve been tripped up by Firefox tabs before myself, and ended up posting incredibly pointed, witty, and articulate comments to the wrong thread, where they sit like unpolished turds for everyone to gingerly step around.
Not yours though, it’s arresting and thought provoking.
“Hmmm… is Skeeter making a point about me, or Andrea, or Shyamalan? Better just nod wisely and hope it isn’t me.”
June 16th, 2008 at 11:31 am
Skeeter: yes, the tab key only works in word processing-like programs. When it comes to text boxes the tab will only take you out of the box or do something else weird. (Skubie, he means the tab key not Firefox tabs.)
June 16th, 2008 at 11:33 am
PS: to Skeeter’s comment re “clever,” exactly. Though it’s not always uncomplimentary here in the US, the word does often have those connotations. I’d think that the Doctor Who production team was using it sarcastically if they didn’t use it all the time, and only for situations where a compliment was clearly intended.
June 16th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
Yeah, the whole “first R-rated movie” bit on the ads struck me, too.
I figured it was the faintest best praise the hacks could damn laud the movie with.
June 16th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Crap, strikethrough tag doesn’t work.
Suffice it to say, promoting the R-ratedness of a movie seems to me to be damning with faint praise.
June 16th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
What? There are other tabs than Firefox? No way. Liars.
June 16th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
And the new version of IE has them too. Though I only use that program under duress.
June 16th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
Typewriters also have a tab key, though it won’t do you any good on the internet.
June 16th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
Right, now you tell me, thanks loads.
Next you’re gonna tell me this tasty and refreshing diet soft drink has no Internet application, too?
June 16th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Not unless you pour it on your modem.
June 17th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
No way, I’m afraid it will dissolve the wax I put on it to make it faster.