Oh finally

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Update, January 13, 2011: Ignore most of what is posted below. My blog now resides at the main link. That is:


Adjust your bookmarks accordingly.

Update, October 6, 2009: Hi there! This is just a little announcement for anyone who has wandered over here and is confused as to why there is no new content. I closed this blog on December 31, 2008, and opened a new one for 2009. See the original post content below. But if you want my latest web ramblings, please go to the main page for all the links to all my sites, or head straight over to my current blog, The Spleenville HQ Chronicles. What does this mean in the great scheme of things? Well, for one thing, it means NO, I DON’T WANT TO ADD ANY ADVERTISEMENTS TO THIS SITE. (Yes, I periodically get spammed from my old sites for this purpose. Stop it. It is irritating, and is not making your business any more attractive.) Now everyone, change your links to either http://spleenville.com/ for the main site, or http://spleenville.com/v2/ for just the blog.


I thought this year would never end. Peace out, sparkly bitches!*

New site.

*that’s from here.

Future improbable

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Via Ghost of a Flea comes this headscratcher of a series of… something, at the Tate art museum in London (where else? Here’s an example of Tate weirdness: an artist who places tires on a floor or shower rods in a wall and gets an exhibit, and presumably lots of money). Anyway, they’ve got this upcoming thing about London in 2058, which they describe will be in this state:

Incessant rain is plaguing London, changing its landscape and forcing its inhabitants to seek shelter within Tate Modern, amongst monumentally large sculptures swollen by the rainfall, fragmentary film projections and books, rescued from the rain.

Erm. How does “incessant rain” describe a state any different from the London of today, or of the past? I know they have come out of a warm, dry weather phase (which in typical Anglo-Saxon insularity greeny activists in that land decided meant the whole world was doomed to the horror of warm, pleasant weather with a longer growing period) but pick up any classic tome about Britain and eventually you will come to a description of London containing the words “gloom,” “fog,” “pea-soup fog,” “rain,” “wet,” “damp,” “dank,” “rainy,” “drizzle,” “mist,” “wet,” “puddle,” “mud,” “rubbers” (not the male naughty bits protector but things you wear on your feet to protect them from mud and wet), “mac” (short for “macintosh,” a kind of raincoat), and any of the colloquial terms for “umbrella” (“brolly” was a common one).

That could be explained, I suppose, by the short cultural memories of the people involved, or perhaps they were raised in a windowless attic and not let out unless the weather was sunny and dry (which meant maybe once or twice a year, which is why they are so afraid of the weather). But that doesn’t explain the whole rest of the description. Let’s take those “sculptures swollen by the rainfall.” What kind of sculptures are these? What are they made of? From what I’ve seen in my life, sculptures are usually made of stone, plaster, metal, or some kind of plastic like resin. Plastic would probably hold up best in the rain, but it would not be “swollen” by it. Stone does not swell from “incessant” water running over it — it eventually wears away, as do things made of plaster. Which means they would get smaller, the opposite of “swollen.” Metal, unless protected, corrodes and rusts — there might be some “swollen” appearance in certain parts of the metal due to the effects of the corrosion, but eventually the object would wear away and crumble. What are these “sculptures” made of? I know of no substance that isn’t actually alive that swells in the rain. Are the sculptures made out of live fungi?

And why do “fragmentary film projections and books” need to be “rescued from the rain”? These things are not normally stored outside where they’d be exposed to the elements. Perhaps the people putting this exhibit together meant to say that London was being flooded by the Thames, which has been known to happen — it isn’t all that unusual an occurrence. That would make more sense when it came to the need to “rescue” books and film bits and whatever. So why didn’t they just say so? They probably wanted to make everything sound mysterious and profound (“ooh! the scary future full of doom!”), and “unusually long and heavy rains in the future cause London to be flooded, discuss” doesn’t sound as interesting.

Shopper’s Paradise

Seeds of Our Demise, Uncategorized 4 Comments »

Here’s another reason I’m glad I didn’t keep that job at Walmart: an employee was killed when a bargain-crazed mob rushed the doors of a Walmart in Long Island when they opened for today’s “special” sales. Today, as we all know, is “Black Friday” — which has become the day I stay home. Not that I have any money to spend, but even if I did, the insanity that this “tradition” has devolved into makes the few dollars I might save, assuming I would be able to get my hands on any of the “while supplies last” goodies, aren’t worth it.

If we were still a civilized nation and not on the brink of Third World-dom, we’d abolish “Black Friday” and just have a normal shopping day. Or the stores would stay closed on the Friday following Thanksgiving so people could spend more time with their families like they always say they want to. But God forbid someone not make a few extra pennies; never mind that encouraging events like this are actually going to bring the economy to its knees (perhaps when people decide to stay away in droves from stores because, well, they don’t want to be trampled to death by a horde of bloated chavs* looking to save 20% on their fifth wide-screen plasma tv) that much sooner.

*We really do need a special word for the sort of lower-class, often-welfare-supported, yet overfed, over-supplied with unnecessary material goods like brand-name shoes and clothes and electronic equipment, under-educated and ill-mannered ranks like the British do with “chav,” which I believe is even racially inclusive, whereas the term “yob” more specifically referred to a white, lower-class, uneducated thug. I think in Long Island and New Jersey they use the word “guido” but that just refers to people of Italian descent. Well for now I am appropriating “chav.”

Update: more on Protein Wisdom.

I can’t make this stuff up

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Are people really this clueless? What the fuck is “lemon chiffon cake” anyway? I always thought it was lemon chiffon pie.

(Via Tim Blair, who finds this stuff somehow. It must be a gift.)

Headlines I didn’t want to see

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Try “Fay Predicted To Rage Into Hurricane, Slam Florida Again” on for size. And then there’s the byline: “Forecaster: ‘I’m Afraid This Is Going To Be The Week Of Fay.'” Um. Can you wrap your head around the concept of “shut up” or maybe “don’t tempt fate” (or Fay)? All I can say is… God just doesn’t want me to go to the beach this summer. (I will say though, that so far Fay has been kind of a disappointment. I’ve had more rain during a regular rainstorm.)