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Thunder Farts

I must beg to differ with The American Princess: Bruce Springsteen is by no means "a fantastic songwriter and a great musician" unless we are to rewrite the standards of musical excellence to include "singing" that brings to mind nothing so much as a bout of extra-intense straining on the toilet, coupled with dull sub-folk-rock clangor and pretentiously overblown lyrics that attempt to marry the dull and seedy lives of northeastern urban provincials to half-baked Rimbaudish poetical stylings. One might well ask "where is the Tristan und Isolde of late-Seventies thud-rock?"

(Via Kathy Shaidle.)

Update: I've never actually read any Rimbaud, but I've always heard that he appealed to the macho-male contingent of the American male pseudo-intellectual brigade which is why I threw his name in there. And what do you know, I was right. Remove all that pansy stuff about longing for the "aged ramparts of Europe" and black cold pools in scented twilight, grind everything down to a teenager's vocabulary, and you have everything Springsteen has ever written.

Last update, then I am done with this nonsense: what is it with rabid fans of whoever? I write that I cannot stand so-and-so's music, and I get lectured on how "unfair" I am for my dislike for reasons I never gave in my post. And then I get a list of songs and lyric samples as if, because I parodied the title of one of said singer's songs for the title of my own post, my problem was really with that one song despite what I actually wrote in the post. In short, why can't Bruuuuuce Fans read?

Here's the thing: I do not like Bruce Springsteen. I do not like him on my record player. I do not like him on my radio. I do not like him on cd; I would not like a dvd. I do not like him with my eggs; I cannot drink from enough kegs. I will not "instead" listen to "just this song"; I will not, WILL NOT play along. I won't take him in a box; I don't care how much he rocks. I don't like the music he plays; I don't like the words his songs say. I don't like the way he sings; nor his band nor anything. I do not like this Bruce Springsteen!

Comments (5)

Bruce Stinksteen is one of the most overrated performs/songwriters ever. The title of your post is appropriate because I swear, if Bruce came on stage, put the microphone to his butt and broke wind, rock critics would say, "What a genius! He's the greatest American songwriter that ever lived!"

Especially if he did it for four hours.

First of all, it's not fair to hate someone's songs because you hate his politics or personal life. They're all different things. Amy Winehouse' life is a mess but her songs are terrific.

Secondly, everyone has his own personal tastes so it's hard to argue with someone who doesn't like The Beatles or Frank Sinatra or Tony Bennett or Bob Dylan. But, most people believe that even if you dump half of their stuff in the trash and they'd still be great. And I agree.

And Springsteen a great song-writer. You don't like Thunder Road? What about Streets of Philadelphia, Dancing In The Dark, Because The Night, Candy's Room, Hungry Heart, Stolen Car, My Love Will Not Let You Down, I Wanna Be With You, Pink Cadillac, Janey Don't Lose Your Heart, Be True, My City of Ruins... There are so many songs that even someone who hates him couldn't help but like enough to put a good album together.

And on top of that, he's a good performer.

Here are some of my favourite lyrics.

Two faces have I
One that laughs one that cries
One says hello one says goodbye
One does things I don't understand
Makes me feel like half a man
At night I get down on my knees and pray
Our love will make that other man go away

1. Life isn't fair.

2. I never said I based my musical preferences on the lifestyles and politics of the musician. That would leave me with no music to listen to.

3. You obviously have a problem with reading comprehension, a not unknown defect of the fanboi mentality. I did not single out one single Springsteen song; I dislike the man's entire output. Wait -- there is one exception: that song "Candy's Room," which I believe is about a man's hopeless love for a prostitute. The lyrics and theme are commonplace, and his "singing" is painful as usual, but the song does have a certain driving force. There you have it: the one Bruce Springsteen song I can stand to listen to.

Thanks for saying what I've thought ever since I first heard "Born to Run." I do not like the pretentious old fraud, I have never liked the pretentious old fraud and I never will like the pretentious old fraud.

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Don't worry, he's just chopping broccoli.


This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on October 6, 2007 6:00 PM.

The previous post in this blog was The Tar Pit (Part 2 of Miss Harris' Wild Ride).

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