Victory Soap v. 2.0

Uh oh.

What did I tell you? This is how it begins:

First they start talking about recycling and other "green" things.

Then they start letting the "save money" talk creep through.

Then they send out memos asking employees not to order supplies more than once a week.

Then the supplies are put behind lock and key, the key in the charge of a manager who is always in meetings.

Then they start buying the cheap pens that leak and run out of ink after three days.

Then the coffee supplies start being replaced by cheaper items -- real cream packets with powdered creamer (and not the kind that actually creams, but something that looks and tastes like plaster dust).

Then the coffee maker vanishes, and you find out (from the company grape vine, because no announcements ever go out about any of these changes) that they have cancelled the contract with the coffee company. You have to get your own coffee from the cafe in the lobby or boil instant in the microwave.

Brand-name sodas are replaced in the machine by generic knockoffs.

Strange men and women without company nametags appear in your area, making notes on memo pads as if they are counting the number of cubicles, computers, and so on. They do not introduce themselves, and no one introduces them. Their visit was not announced, and you are told nothing about it. When you ask your manager who they were she gives you a blank look and then changes the subject.

People start disappearing. One day you have a coworker in the next cubicle over, the next day he's gone, and you are given all of his assignments to do as well as your own. No one will tell you why he (and several others) were fired.

A meeting is abruptly called. You are given a speech by your boss's bosses about how In These Difficult Times Every Associate ("employees" is officially not allowed to be used) Has To Help. Something vague about "changes" is talked about, but nothing of any substance is said. Several of your remaning coworkers start looking at all times as if their dog was dying.

In the next few weeks you are given assignments to do "yesterday" and when you break your head to get them done on time no one seems to care anymore. The frustration is so thick it can be scooped up with a spoon. You no longer have any idea what you are supposed to be doing, and your boss is always in meetings.

The word "restructuring" starts oozing into company announcements - what little they emit these days.

Then they finally admit you're being axed. But in order to get your severance pay you have to stay for the final excruciating weeks while they figure out what to do with the tangled ball of wool that used to be your company. But don't forget to use up your personal and sick time, because you don't get paid for that.