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Pierced to the root

I came upon this dismaying comment on one of Steve H.'s posts, on the subject of penis piercing:

"Do not be so quick to dismiss the pierced-penis brigade...I know of at least one (hetero) Naval officer with that particular addition to his body."

Jesus Jumping H. Christ on a pogo stick. Anyone in the military who pierces his penis or does any of the other decadent body modifications currently in style should be given a dishonorable discharge. I don't care how brave they were previously -- doing something so stupid (shoving a ring through your genitalia is stupid, do I have to list the reasons why) indicates a serious problem with their ability to resist the pleasures of the moment, which can lead to breaches of discipline which the military can ill afford.

And did I say "decadent"? I meant it. People don't get their peepees mutilated for looks -- it's not like we go about with our pudenda as exposed as our ears. (Yet.) They do it because it's supposed to enhance sexual pleasure. Apparently being part of a generation whose sex drive is turned up to eleven isn't enough. I really don't know how anything gets done these days. No wonder so many people on tv look haggard and exhausted.

I might -- just might -- give tattoos a pass, since they are "traditional," at least for members of the armed services. (And only certain kinds of tattoos on certain locations -- butterflies and "tribal symbols" across the ass aren't part of this tradition.) But the rest is nothing but rebellious faddishness indulged in by the spoiled, arrogant youth of the West. Military training is supposed to cure that sort of thing.

Comments (9)

Steve Skubinna [TypeKey Profile Page]:

I dunno, I'd pay money NOT to have somebody shove a steel rod through any of my body parts. But I'm an old fashioned guy, I don't even like earrings on guys... Speaking as a former Naval Officer. No punctured penis for me, thanks very much. And for those aficionados who persist in explaining to me about all the tribal cultures who do that, please give it a rest. One thing about being a 21st century human is that I don't give a rip about what some stone age tribal folks do.

As for tattoos, I would probably consider getting one reflecting some aspect of my service (like maybe the traditional China Fleet dragon on an upper arm), except that they don't have any meaning anymore, other than "My dad's a total dickhead and I saved enough to get this and besides, the chick at the tattoo booth is kinda cute."

Well after all Prince Albert was straight and the piercing is his namesake.

Sigivald [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Yes, please list the reasons why it's stupid, and how that's mutilation but an earring isn't (since you don't deride the latter as mutilatory, I assume you don't categorise it thus).

I've known too many people over the years with too many varied piercings to buy either the mutilation line, or the idea that the sole reason is to enhance sexual pleasure (and as often as not the idea, it appears, is to enhance that of the partner, which isn't exactly selfish hedonism).

You want to talk mutilation, we can talk splitting or something. A wee little hole that'd heal up, that's not mutilation.

Piercing your dick is disgusting. (And your nipple, and your nose.) It's unsanitary, for one thing. All those areas (except for the male nipple, but male nipples are just gross anyway) are places where the human body discharges nasty substances. The earlobe, on the other hand, doesn't discharge anything, so I give it a pass. One hole in an earlobe, or maybe two, is okay, but anything else is overkill. The last weird ear fad, though -- of "gauging," or putting increasingly thick posts into the earlobe to stretch out the hole like a rubber band, is absolutely wrong and should be banned by general decree. Well, it will be when I take over the world.

Don't worry, I'm not going to come to your house and pull out your piercings. Or stand outside with a really large magnet and wait for the scream and the thud. :giggle:

"Well after all Prince Albert was straight and the piercing is his namesake."

They need to put Prince Albert back in his can!

marc [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Evidently, male breasts can be persuaded to produce milk. Who knew?


Via Gawker.

Yet another item in the anti-piercing list.

Hey if you want to put a bit of surgical steel in your knob far be it from me to criticise.

Don't worry, I'm here to pick up the slack! Er, so to speak.

Its a non-viagra way of preventing droop.

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Don't worry, he's just chopping broccoli.


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