Victory Soap v. 2.0

The first rule of Right Club is - you do not talk about Right Club.

You see, this is what makes people mock the so-called "blogosphere": the way people form their little groups with their little rules and get their little panties in little twists when someone offers an opinion that doesn't follow their little clique's rulebook. Case in point: in the comments to this post on yet another instance of trash-radio talk show host Don Imus crapping on himself and getting in trouble for it, I dared to utter the Forbidden Thought that maybe Imus isn't a victim we should care all that much about, considering we otherwise encourage his sort of shit by continuing to make his profession (saying stupid things on the radio) such a lucrative one:

The real problem is the popularity of this sort of trash-talk radio. Until that garbage is no longer popular, we’ll have Imuses all over the place.

This brought upon me the ire of a person calling himself Hog Whitman:

Beats the hell out of having Al Sharptons all over the place. Imus is a person of fairness, generousity, and solid character. I know Don Imus, I’ve worked with Don Imus, and believe me: Don Imus is no rascist. (sic)

By the way, here is what this "person of fairness, generosity, and solid character" let fall from his yap that started the whole thing: of the Rutgers' women's basketball team's black members, he entered into this exchange:

"That's some rough girls from Rutgers," Imus said. "Man, they got tattoos ..."

"Some hardcore hos," said McGuirk.

"That's some nappy headed hos there, I'm going to tell you that," Imus said.

Hm. You know, I can't stand Al Sharpton, but he may just have a legitimate complaint here. Grant you, he is being an idiot about it as usual, but it's the sort of idiocy that gets him eyeballs, and any new "protect fragile minorities from any slight or hurt" rule that is put on the books in the future will be there in large part thanks to the rank stupidity of people like Don Imus.

And his fans. My next rejoinder, to this Hog person, was this:

Then why is he in trash-talk radio? No, I don’t think much of the genre and nothing you can say will make me like it, or much admire the people who get famous because of it. Surely someone as wonderful as your friend can find something better to do.

The existence of Al Sharptons are part of another love-affair Americans have; on the one hand we love freaky minority characters with weird hair. If he had a normal haircut no one would listen to him. On the other hand, those of us who are liberal love to be chastised by minorities. We’ll pay good money for them to tell us we still suck. In the Middle Ages we had flagellants who would go about whipping themselves for real and imagined sins, but at least participation was voluntary for the general population. Liberal race-flagellants won’t be happy until we’re all bleeding.

I guess I used too many big words, but he managed to grasp the idea that I didn't think much of talk radio, and I mentioned the word "liberal," which is like a red flag to a certain kind of rightwing bull. I got this considered, intellectual response:

Has anyone ever told you argue just like a drooling libtard? WTF is “trash-talk radio” and what does it matter? Do you even have an idea, or is it just anything you don’t like? FYI: most radios now come with tuning dials and on/off switches. The technology is amazing. Check into it. It’s a lot easier than trying to censor the airwaves and impose your blue-nosed puritan values on the general populace.

If you want to respond to this, please do, but answer some questions first before you head off on another nonsensical tangent, mmk?

1. I said Imus was fair and generous. He is. He’s raised millions for charity, and contributed millions more of his own, not to mention most of his spare time. If you can find a case where those funds have discriminated against any race, please state it. Nevermind, you can’t.

2. Where did I even REMOTELY suggest that you should like “trash-talk radio”, or that you should “admire” Imus? Would you please answer that one? Oh wait, you can’t.

3. I never said Imus was my friend or that he was “wonderful”. You said that. As I stated; he may be all kinds of other things, but he’s not a rascist. (sic) And FWIW: “wonderful” is a word that aging women and homos use. I’ve never used it to describe any man, woman, or anything outside of The _________ World of Disney.

4. Have you changed your dosage levels recently? (it’s a rhetorical question)

As I read that over now, I think the most bizarre thing about that comment is the strange criticism of the word "wonderful." WTF?

By the way, if you read through the comments, you'll see that I wasn't the only person to dismiss Don Imus, and a couple of other "right wing" celebrities (Bill O'Reilly, for example). But for some reason I was the only person who got singled out for special attention. Was it because I didn't make enough noise about TEH AWFUL PC RULZ BOO? I thought that sort of thing was a given, and that we didn't even have to mention in every time the subject came up, but it's apparently part of the right-wing blogosphere rosary ("...and on the third day, he was taken up in to court, and slapped with a hate crime citation"). Apparently you're supposed to chant your conservative bona fides every time you criticize a right wing hero, or else someone may "cleverly" ask you how you feel about Air America (which, for those of you who are lucky enough to live in the real world and not the freaking blog CAVE is or was a pathetic attempt of the so-called liberal leftwing media to create a "leftwing talk radio" channel that would be just as popular as rightwing talk radio, only they forgot that no one wants to hear a bunch of politically correct nerds try to make fun of Bush without insulting women, the handicapped, or ethnic minorities), and then call you a "troll" when you don't catch that he was "just curious about how you felt about them." Uh huh.

Let me tell you this, my children: this conservative doesn't grade fools and idiots by what political "side" they are on. Whether you're a lefty or a rightard, if I see you saying or doing something stupid, and am sufficiently irate about it, I am going to tear you an equal-opportunity asshole. If we want people to come to the conservative side (not the "right" side), we need to quit sobbing about what otherwise WONDERFUL people are the folks spewing shit like "nappy headed hos." I don't care how much Imus gave to charity. The company I work for that just laid a bunch of us off gives loads of money to charity. Bill Gates, who everyone hates, gives boatloads of money to charity. But I should suck Imus' dick because he gives? Excuse me if I decline.