I would like you to know what the news media considers important news:
ST. PETERSBURG - The notes under the door. The incessant phone calls. The impassioned pleas, all begging for a piece of the story.
It wasn't reporters in search of secret intelligence involving the war in Iraq.
The subject: St. Petersburg's Jennifer Mee, a 15-year-old who started hiccuping four weeks ago today and has yet to stop.
I kid you not:
Representatives from ABC's Good Morning America called Jennifer's home 57 times on Sunday and slipped notes under her hotel room door, her family said.
The article subtly makes the family look like a bunch of dumb hicks. Then again, they are from my state (Florida), so they may well be. Still, that doesn't make their plight any more interesting or vital to the fate of the nation, and is frankly not even a moderately interesting "human interest" page nine filler. Come on -- The Today Show? Ellen DeGeneres? Inside Edition? I can just imagine the scintillating wonder of the interview:
Matt Lauer or somebody: "So, Jennifer, tell us about yourself."
Jennifer Mee: "Well hic I'm from hic St. Petersburg Florihicda, and I can't stop hic hiccupping."
Matt Lauer or somebody: "Okay... tell me how it started."
Jennifer Mee: "Well hic um... they just hic starhicted one hic day."
Matt Lauer or somebody: "And they won't stop?"
Jennifer Mee: "hic No."
Matt Lauer or somebody: "How does that make you feel?"
Jennifer Mee: "I'd hic realhicly hic like hic them hic to sthicop."
I'm on the edge of my seat. You?
Excuse me, but isn't there something else kind of important going on somewhere? Like a war or something? I know "life goes on" and all that but this is ridiculous.
(Via Dave at Garfield Ridge.)